"First take what you want, then you throw it away..."   
Nov. 19th, 2009 | 04:05 pm 
  "Love Gained"

I’d like to tell you
About a love I have gained some time ago.
She is Beauty embodied.
Her eyes, deep as the ocean floor.
Hair, dark like the night sky.
Her skin is soft as a wool blanket.
Her touch is electric,
Her smile, warming,
Her kiss, invigorating.
Every moment with her,
Was a moment I’m thankful to be alive.
Her presence allows me to feel
Like I am more than just human,
Almost, immortal,
Like I am a god, chosen to live among man.
She comes to me with nothing to prove,
Yet, the world to gain.
She is mine to hold,
However,
No pleasure,
No joy,
Can remain without punishment.
She was removed from me,
Placing a void to never be filled.
I still have her with me,
Every time I lay my head to rest.
I can smell her scent on my pillow.
The only reminder of the Love I have gained.

- Chris Da Silva
 
 
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 Death's Call
 
"She's my sweet little thing, She's my pride and joy..."   
Apr. 10th, 2009 | 09:15 am 
 
Current Facade : [mood icon] bored
Eulogy Song : Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble: Testify
Feel a subtle rise in my chest as I breath.
You stand across from me
And I'm feeling weak.
Toss around ideas about how real this is,
I can't stop looking into your eyes.
"My Intervention" is one example
Of the things I don't need.
My words, however, fall on deaf ears.
What I need, you don't want,
So why even bother?
But I can't seem to walk away from you.
I'm begging you to tell me,
Do you feel fulfilled in the morning,
When you realize the boy you had last night
Is long gone, nowhere in sight?
How can you drink from a cup that is empty?

"Show 'Em"
A vision of beauty
Turned into a mess.
A psychotic ex threatens your sanity.
No one saw it coming.
You needed out because he was dragging you down.
He never thought it would come to this
Because he took you for granted.
Now there's a demon building up inside
And your knuckles are bloody from fighting the walls.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
He was supposed to show his love in another fashion.
He wasn't supposed to threaten your life.
You're standing on edge, dancing with a knife.
The time to act is now,
The time is right,
This will be his last night
He ever acts out again.
You will show him.
You will show us all.

- Chris Da Silva
 
 
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 1 Hears... - Death's Call
 
"Let the Dead bury their own dead..."   
Mar. 30th, 2009 | 09:42 am 
 
Current Facade : [mood icon] content
Eulogy Song : As Cities Burn: Of Want And Misery : The Nothing That Kills
“My Intervention”

Ladies and gentlemen, if you could please be seated,
I will begin the explanation I was never able to give before.
It all started back in late January of 2007.
Busy doing nothing when she walked in the door.
Mid-length, dark brown hair
Bright blue/green eyes.
Beauty embodied in a 5 foot 8, slender casing.
When she spoke,
I lost all breath.
Simply stunned.
Like an angel sent to me.

Time would pass,
And she would occasionally stop in for visits.
Laughs and jokes around, comments about a lack of sex life,
I placed my number in her phone.
The worst that could happen, I get deleted.
A call two days later, hang out, and then again.
Until I realized, I needed her as mine.
So it was, and it was amazing.
More ups than downs,
Nothing to bicker about.
It reached a point I never thought would happen again.
That faithful night, laying down next to her.
She rolls over, brushes the hair from her face.
She smiles and my heart lights up.
I know this is true.
Give her a kiss that can’t be denied,
Full of passion.
Look deep into her eyes and proclaim, “I love you.”
Her face lights up and replies, “I love you too.”
We kissed again.

Throughout the months of being together,
People spread lies about her whereabouts,
When I know the truth.
Still, our love went strong,
And every kiss more passionate than the last.
Where would I be without this girl in my life?
This person who affects my mood.
This person who feeds off my energy.
We completed each other,
And we could feel it every time we touched.

Eventually, after 9 months, we started to snap.
Getting aggravated over little things,
And I made the worst mistake I could.
I ended it all.
Met another from my past,
Where things took place that I won’t admit to.
She called, I confessed, she got mad, I digressed.
From the sound of her voice,
I could tell how destroyed she truly was.
So I made the choice to leave the other
And make her mine again.
Four months of words, and the best of intentions.
I finally convinced her, she’s the only one I want.
Another two months go by,
Things running smoothly,

Suddenly, she stops calling.
A week goes by,
I make my best attempts to contact her,
But to no avail.
Seven weeks, 49 days exact, she calls.
I’m torn apart inside from the sudden onset.
Her voice weak and broken,
My thoughts sporadic and shattered.
She claims I never tried calling for her.
In, almost, a fit of rage,
I explain my every action.
How every day for nearly a week
I called for her. Leaving messages.
I wanted nothing more than to hear her voice again,
To know she was all right.
I explain how dead I was inside.
How alone I would feel in a room full of friends.
I snap, ask where has she been.
She says rehab, she mentally broke down.
A man of unrecognizable qualities told her
I had been cheating on her.
My love for her ran so deep, I would never conceive it.
However, she believed it.
Instead of asking me, and hearing the truth,
She pushed it to the front, and had a reason not to call.
She says she feared to know the truth,
Though she secretly knew his words were lies.
At this point, I emotionally explode
And get angry with her stupidity.
We talk things out, try to make it all right.
Things got better, and the love is slowly rekindled.
Sharing beautiful words of a better future.
House, kids, love all around.
One day she breaks the news.
“I was desperate, and had been drinking a bit.
I had a one night stand.”
I knew where this was leading.
She was pregnant.
She apologized, I’m red with anger.
A woman who has professed her love for me,
Time and time again,
Pregnant by someone else.
For many hours we discussed options.
I told her it’s her choice,
But if she has it, and it’s a girl,
She has to name her Vera Lynn.
My most favored name.
She happily agrees.
We push the thought behind us,
And fight for the other.
She struggles with life,
But I keep her optimistic.
“I love you” becomes more than words now.
A feeling even stronger than it was originally intended for.
A month goes by and we’re on the phone again.
She’s having a hard day, and I let her vent.
I have to leave and say “I love you Beautiful, please keep in touch.”
That was the last I heard from her.

Days and days pass by, I emotionally deteriorate.
I sank into an all familiar hole,
But now it’s much more comforting.
I took solace in knowing that she’s the one at a loss.
A month strolls by,
And she calls again.
This time, I don’t bother answering.
I’m sick of her excuses,
I’m sick of the game she’s playing.
Like some kind of test to see if I’d be there,
To see if I’m true to my word.
It may seem as though I’m not,
But a man can be strung along a dirt road,
Before realizing the scrapes and cuts aren’t worth the salt
Being poured into the wounds afterwards.

Five months go by,
And things are getting fine,
Until I started this speech.
Wrote what I could think of,
With the descriptions to match.
The night rolls around
And I find myself in a place of isolation.
Feeling the emptiness that has come time and time again.
My brain swells,
My heart sinks and palpitates.
My chest feels compressed,
And breathing was difficult.
Eyes tear up, time for bed.
Closed eyes brought on broken memories,
Of every smile, laugh, touch and kiss.
I could remember everything.
It all came so fast,
And felt like a punch to the face.
A brick wall that came crashing down on me.
It will never be again.
This will never happen again.
Now I take comfort in knowing one thing:
Every time she looks down at that child,
She’ll be reminded of me.
She’ll remember everything she lost.
How badly she fucked up.
And when that child sees her crying,
She’ll have to lie. Time and time again.
She will lie.

-Chris Da Silva
 
 
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 1 Hears... - Death's Call
 
   
Mar. 23rd, 2009 | 09:43 am 
 
Current Facade : [mood icon] indifferent
Eulogy Song : Hurt: That (Such A Thing)
Sitting in a room, relaxing with friends
Drinking down this vice that helps me cope,
When she comes stumbling in,
Mumbling about her nonsense.
Looking at my friend, I can see it in his eyes.
We both zone in to tune out her grating voice.
An hour goes by, I hear the familiar piercing in my ears.
She's still talking.
Going on and on about her foolish lifestyle.
We take a hint, knock her down, tie her to a chair, sock in her mouth.
She lets out muffled screams and we are fine.
Beer is running low, and her noises become aggravating.
Hold her down, knife to her throat, remove her voice box,
Sew it up as best we can.
The only noises now
Is the chair bouncing up and down off the floor.
This bitch just doesn't get the hint.
The alcohol really kicks in,
We lift her up, and drag her ass a mile into the woods.
This should take care of unneccessary noise.
Approach the house, walk in the door, my television is missing.
Fuck.

-Chris Da Silva
 
 
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 1 Hears... - Death's Call
 
Another!   
Mar. 3rd, 2009 | 09:55 pm 
  This asphyxiation will be the death of me,
As my Fascination becomes the fashion of my disease.
I choke on the sight of your shape,
My heart races in your presence.
But inside, you are broken and lonely.
Come to me in these cold winter nights,
And in the morning,
We'll be two again.
I feel your hand slip through mine,
And wonder when I'll have you again.
So tell me, my dear,
Do you feel as weak and vulnerable
As I do when we're standing so close?
Do you feel the sting of heartache like I do,
When you go home without me?
I just want your embrace to consume me
And cleanse our doubts of where our faults lead us.
Take my hand today,
And let me see you smile.
I won't be leaving you here to drown yourself to cover your mistakes.
Let me color your imperfections with amber,
And let your heart melt with mine.

-Chris Da Silva
 
 
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 Death's Call
 
Very Long Overdue   
Feb. 27th, 2009 | 10:43 am 
 
Current Facade : [mood icon] bouncy
Eulogy Song : Slipknot: Gematria (The Killing Name)
So I haven't written in quite sometime, thus no new work. However, a couple weeks ago, I wrote, but have been to lazy to post. No title for this one, just the work.

Recluse little beauty
Found asleep in studying
Curious to learn the world
And of anything that comes to mind.
Local library, she calls home
To get away from the swings
Created by man's best beverages.
Catch her eye and she'll get lost in her books
Hiding behind her glasses.
Her mind is full of wonder
But her heart is hollow like a tree in the dead of winter.
Lend her your hand
And show her not all men are equal.
 
 
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 Death's Call
 
Very Long Overdue   
Feb. 27th, 2009 | 10:38 am 
 
Current Facade : bouncy
Eulogy Song : Slipknot: Gematria (The Killing Name)
So I haven't written in quite sometime, thus no new work. However, a couple weeks ago, I wrote, but have been to lazy to post. No title for this one, just the work.

Recluse little beauty
Found asleep in studying
Curious to learn the world
And of anything that comes to mind.
Local library, she calls home
To get away from the swings
Created by man's best beverages.
Catch her eye and she'll get lost in her books
Hiding behind her glasses.
Her mind is full of wonder
But her heart is hollow like a tree in the dead of winter.
Lend her your hand
And show her not all men are equal.

- Chris Da Silva
 
 
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 Death's Call
 
"Under the covers..."   
Jan. 12th, 2008 | 11:35 pm 
 
Current Facade : [mood icon] depressed
There are no words to describe
The way I feel right now.
Dried up and empty,
Roting in a cage of flesh and bone.
Every moment is a repetition of my past actions,
That plays louder with every foot step.
I can hear your voice singing in my ear,
Something like waves crashing on a beach.
I reach for the nights
Where I'd be lost in your eyes,
Never wanting to find a way out.
I need to find a way out of this hole
That I've dug using my fears as the shovel.
This grave is set up
And I'm ready to sleep.
Wake me up when I deserve your love again.

-Chris Da Silva
 
 
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 1 Hears... - Death's Call
 
"Bleed for me, I've bled for you... Embrace me child, I'll see you through..."   
May. 14th, 2007 | 10:57 am 
 
Current Facade : [mood icon] good
Eulogy Song : People chattering
These next two poems are a bit over due, but shit happens and I can get busy with school, work, and a somewhat social life. Enjoy!


Block out the sun
And embrace the night.
Eyes half shut, barely asleep,
But fully awake.
The snow falls heavy but soft,
Covering my world of ghosts.
And through the cold,
I can see your eyes,
Warming my heart.
Arms too heavy to pull myself to you,
But I'll give my heart it their place.



"Eight Year Difference"
Eight years away,
But I want you here with me.
This short time with you
Has become such a large part of me.
Your smile brightens my darkest days,
Filling me with a happiness
That has been long past.
I'm sick of the cold when you're not around,
I'm broken down and all alone.
The rain comes crashing down,
Flooding the world around me,
And all I think about
Is the time I've missed with you
Being eight years different.
I want to share all my faults with you,
And become a stronger person from it.
I want you by my side
During my success and my downfall.
I can't begin to find the words
That explain exactly
How much I love you.

-Chris Da Silva
 
 
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 Death's Call
 
"Loving you was like loving the dead..."   
Feb. 22nd, 2007 | 09:26 am 
 
Eulogy Song : Type O Negative
"Devoted"

My soul escapes me
When I look in-to your eyes.
I will fol-low you through
This - shattered life.
I'll walk through this ruined city as
You - help me up.
Walk past crumbling builings
That are missing walls.
Place me in a broken home, we'll
Build it up with hope.
Fill its walls with love and
Pray it's strong enough.
I will wait forever,
Just to fall asleep,
I'll rest myself in your arms,
I promise, I'll never leave.

-Chris Da Silva
 
 
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 Death's Call
 


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